Confirmed

Well looks like the good Lord confirmed that this was the time and place to share with you all, so guess we will see where He sees this going.

Want to know how it was confirmed....well you are going to hear how anyways. I had two wonderful signs on the drive home from work this evening. The first one were beautiful snowflakes falling from the sky. For those of you who don't know, children with OI are often referred to as snowflakes, because they are fragile and no two are alike. (OI is the disease that Will had, don't think I ever said the name of it in my intro). There is a beautiful poem that a OI mom wrote. I will share, but my love for snowflakes has been well documented. I have a snowflake tree, several that stay up in my house year around, we even used a snowflake instead of a dash on Will's tombstone. They didn't have one in the book that you go through to pick things out for a headstone (hope most of you haven't sat in one of those rooms and gone through the book that I am talking about), but since they didn't we were able to design it and have it uniquely made for just him. One of the things hanging in my kitchen says "Snowflakes are kisses from Heaven" and we couldn't feel that to be more true. So as you see the snowflakes were a big deal today!

And if I was being stubborn and not noticing the snowflakes (since there was just a small flurry of them hitting my car), the song on the radio further confirmed He was talking to me. I am a HUGE believer in the power of music healing the soul and holding the memories of the heart. There are so many songs that take me to so many special places. Today's song was Train's "When I Look To The Sky". This song was released in 2003, so not a song that you hear everyday on the radio 11 years later. This was one of the songs that we played in Will's funeral (See what I mean, the Big Guy was talking to me A LOT this afternoon!!). Why this song, you ask? Several reasons. The first line of this song, "When it rains it pours and opens doors And floods the floors we thought would always keep us safe and dry", when I was 7 months pregnant with Will, the Nashville flood happened (there will be plenty more to come on that I am sure), but losing the entire first floor of your home only 2 months before your high-risk baby is born can be a bit life changing. Another reason is that I went to see Train while pregnant with Will. It was a month after we received the news that something was wrong with the pregnancy and really one of the first times that I left the house. And third "And every dance on the kitchen floor we didn't have before", I loved to pick Will up on his little pillow that he laid on and do a little spin to music (many times even to the music of Train). And fourth, as stated above the connection between looking to the sky and our love for snowflakes just seemed logical.

If you aren't a "signs" person, well I hate that for you, because there is amazing comfort in the little olive branches that God drops into our life, but I have one more story that pertains to snowflakes and Train and Will. I will have to look up the exact quote for a later note, but the first show that we sat down to watch on the TiVo after Will passed, it had been a few days, and we had an episode of CSI:NY that had taped while we were in the hospital. This episode not only played Train's "Calling All Angels" but it also had a beautiful quote about snowflakes. You can't right all this off to coincidence, and even if you chose to, I like the hope that lies in believing there is something more behind it. That it isn't all random chance.

I don't think these blogs will be daily and I don't think they will all be this long, but we will get a groove, I am sure :)

Here is the poem that I promised above:
A Snowflake fell from Heaven one day,
Into my heart, forever to stay.
Fragile and precious, Like china so fine,
Beautiful and delicate and one of a kind.
How can I hold this snowflake so dear?.
What if I break it is my greatest fear.
But hold it I must, and break it I may
But I never will regret the day,
When this snowflake fell from Heaven above,
And in to my heart, stirring such love.
Now, wherever I go and whatever my fate
I am forever blessed
By my beautiful Snowflake

SHIRLEY COLE

And here is a picture of my little snowflake.